plight and a TTC strike survival guide

So last night at work I went out on what is called a mail audit, where a supervisor visits a mailroom to ensure that everything is being done properly there, the mail is being delivered safely and all that. But the buildings I went to with another supervisor were plight holes from the depths of hell, also known as Toronto's own Regent Park. These very buildings are being demolished to make way for better places to live, and quite frankly for better people. My friend Mark has always said to roll in the bulldozers at night and not provide eviction notices, or if they insist, tape them to the wrecking balls that come through the window.

What absolute slums. The buildings are not secure. They stink. There's dirt everywhere. There's piss in the stairwells. I am suddenly so grateful for my humble abode, more grateful than I have ever been for anything. I have often said that if the zombie plague came and started there, we would never know until it was too late. Last night I was damn sure we were going to be eaten by something.

So the TTC is going on strike on Monday. How to survive?

1) go shopping *now* and get everything you need so you don't have to carry it. If you have to walk more while the TTC is not running you are not going to feel much like going to the store after a full day.

2) get friends with cars or get on a bike or rollerblades

3) DO NOT call in sick. I'm management now and I know how much that screws people up. Find a way to go to work. Me, I will walk. It may take me almost 2 hours but I could use the exercise and really as long as I am home by 12 noon to get to bed I'm fine.

4) get laid. now. because in a city where people need to travel to get laid, that laziness is going to kick in and you will have to go without. and that will just plain suck. This is more important if you are a gay man because we are inherently lazy and dreafully fickle, and if the next best lay is just a mouse click away, why walk to it? Keep clicking until you find something local.

That is all.